Darling Girl

When a friend dies, it’s hard. When they are young, it’s harder. When they kill themselves…

I can’t find the words.

There are moments, hours, days, even when the disbelief is something I wish for. The weight of this certainty is crushing. There is a hole in my heart. I’ve cried so many tears I think I’m dehydrated.

Striving for equilibrium. I feel like I’m falling and am surprised when I don’t hit the floor. I feel my insides screaming a primal sound that no one hears.

Ah, Lord have mercy.

Put Your hand over my mouth. Let me be kind to those around me.